Question by yummy cupcake: How can I better self esteem and be more social?
I have low self esteem & have a hard time making friends. I’m starting a new school & I wanna make lots of new friends. I am friendly. I’ll say hi and say my name & we have a good start, but then I just stop talking to them. I want to be more confident, but not cocky. I want to be social. Any tips? Websites I can go to? Or books I can read?
Best answer:
Answer by Mia http://www.glennharrold.com/hypnosis-cds-mp3-downloads-1.html#selfconfidence
Have a look round this site. There are some MP3 downloads you can buy or some books. I’ve used the recordings and they’re good.
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Question by Drogba/Nick Jonas 2nd: How can i increase my self esteem and feel better about myself?
I have a low self esteem. Even when i succeed in something i still do not feel happy about myself. This occurs to me a lot especially in the case of dating (for me it’s the best thing in life to love somebody). Example: I say to myself “who wants to date me i’m not cute”, “girls probably think i’m gay” and many other low self esteem things. Can anybody help?
Best answer:
Answer by Jerry Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_25.html Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Use the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com “EFT” & “EFT therapists”, or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) Professional is best. – There is a version for use in public places, (if you want to, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: “Even though I currently have low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself.” I have recently encountered the opinion that, just as it is important to build a house on a solid foundation, so it is with self esteem. Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, and failures, or inadequacies. Accept that you, too are just a human being, with the frailties, insecurities, and tendency to err, occasionally, that the rest of us have. That is the beginning of self love, self acceptance, and self esteem. Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: “I’m really ugly” and then the converse: “I’m fairly good looking”, and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big “STOP!!!” sign, and/or a stern faced person wagging a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation.
Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don’t regard it as being strictly necessary. Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: “I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I… (insert activity here)..” Google: “volunteer from home” Edit one page of an Ebook daily, at: http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page Did you know that you can help us produce ebooks by proof-reading just one page a day? Go to: Distributed Proofreaders see: http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Category:Volunteering Write letters in support of prisoners of conscience, for Amnesty International. Many innocent people, whose only reason for incarceration was that they were a thorn in the side of a repressive government, have had their release secured as a result of a flood of letters, from all over the world. Also see http://www.supportpath.com/ and http://www.neoteen.org ELSEWHERE: Help for 2 hours per fortnight, at Meals on Wheels. Other suggestions are: As a literacy volunteer, animal shelter, Red cross/crescent, soup kitchen, Greenpeace, nursing home/hospital, Habitat for Humanity, United Way, or as a Big Sister, or Big Brother. Make a list of all your good points, strengths, and achievements. Put it somewhere so you can easily refer to it, from time to time; perhaps on the refrigerator door, or print it; (large typeface, or capitalise) have it framed, and place in your bedroom, or in a position of prominence, such as on the television, or lounge room wall.
See http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=016562026678751929112%3Aohfdgqnedms&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=self+esteem&siteurl=www.wikihow.com%2FMain-Page#1396 Read: The Self-Esteem Guided Journal: A Ten Week Program (New Harbinger Guided Journal) by Matthew McKay and Catharine Sutker, & Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel & Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning & Happy to Be Me!: A Kid Book about Self-Esteem, by Christine Adams, Robert J. Butch, and R. W. Alley, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines may be found on page 1, at 8m.com about self esteem.
If you do not love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? This is the problem for many people with low self-esteem. They want to be loved, but because they don’t feel worthy of being loved, they expect people to not love them. You will always find whatever you look for, so people who expect to not be loved will find that others don’t love them. In some cases it might be that they actually are loved but cannot see it. In other cases their low self-esteem and self-disgust is shining through so that they in fact become less lovable. Having low self-esteem thus makes you interpret others as not liking you as well as actually making others like you less. To receive love and to feel that love you need to feel that you have something worth loving.
People with low self-esteem often don’t dare to be themselves. They don’t like who they are and therefore they hide themselves behind a mask of being somebody else. The trouble is that if you don’t show others who you really are, others cannot love you for who you are. Many people with low self-esteem are worried that their partners will one day find out who they really are and then leave them. People with high self-esteem on the other hand dare to be themselves (because they feel good about who they are and they are not embarrassed). Whenever they receive love from others they know that they are loved for who they truly are.
When people with low self-esteem get boyfriends or girlfriends they often “hang on too hard” to them. They are so afraid of being dumped that they watch over their partners like a hawk watches its prey. This is not a good strategy for a healthy relationship. Relationships require trust and freedom. With higher self-esteem you will feel that you are worthy of being loved and you will therefore not be equally afraid of being dumped by your partner. Instead of watching over your partner every second like a police, you can spend that energy on getting to understand each other better and on developing the qualities and skills that are needed for a lasting relationship.
The solution for building a loving and lasting relationship is thus to raise your self-esteem. With high self-esteem you will be able to love yourself and expect others to love you too. As a consequence you will receive more love from all the people around you including potential partners. With high self-esteem you will also dare to be you. You will be open and show your real personality instead of trying to be somebody whom you’re not. You will be loved for who you are, not for who others think that you are. When you raise your self-esteem you will also not feel the need to hang on to your partner too hard but give him or her freedom and trust. You will not interpert small relationship problems as signs that there is something seriously wrong with you or with the relationship. With high self-esteem your relationships will get better and last longer.
www.drlouisehart.com (6 of Most people think they are good listeners, but, unfortunately, few really are. This video teaches skills to help you improve communication skills so your kids REALLY feel listened to. The many skills for positive parenting are discussed in Hart’s book, The Winning Family. Her second book, On the Wings of Self-Esteem, can help you develop a better relationship with yourself, so you can have a better relationship with your child.
Just make sure your in a safe comfortable chair where you will not be disturbed. Look we all have Self-Esteen issues and our thinking isn’t always positive. Watch this a few times and it WILL improve. Enjoy, ed. Video Rating: 4 / 5
Most people think they are good listeners, but, unfortunately, few really are. This video teaches skills to help you improve communication skills so your kids REALLY feel listened to. The many skills for positive parenting are discussed in Hart’s book, The Winning Family. Her second book, On the Wings of Self-Esteem, can help you develop a better relationship with yourself, so you can have a better relationship with your child.